The Toothache That Wasn't.

Sunday night. 2 am. Pain searing through my tooth, into my cheek, and burning up into my brain. I am convinced that my teeth are either falling out or dead.

It started a few days earlier, the slightest hint of sensitivity while eating, the occasional dull throbbing while reading a book. I've never been a good dental hygiene practitioner, so I chalk it up to my opposition to flossing and decide I should see a dentist. It's been over a year, after all. I put out a call on my social networking sites for a recommendation - the last dentist was terrible, engaged in an oh-so-obvious feud with his hygienist. As I lay back, drooling and dreading the unavoidable needles to come, they shot snarky comments back and forth as I prayed for the drill, just to provide a distraction from their chilly exchange.

This morning I arrive at work; a typical Monday - I'm tired from staying up too late and everyone is dragging their heels. I call the closest dentist from the list provided by my wonderful Internet pals and trotted down on my lunch hour.

Note: I was fancy today. This is a rarity. I usually wear jeans and a basic shirt with boots. I'm a simple gal. Today I upped the ante a notch and wore a DRESS AND HEELS.

...and then I hiked to the dentist.

Fine. It's a short walk; only about 12 minutes at a normal pace. I arrive, fill out the paperwork, and sit. They get to me quickly, throw me in a chair, and tell me they want to do x-rays. Great. They drop the deceivingly heavy bib on my chest, shove a giant piece of plastic in my mouth, and tell me to hold still. Done. The dentist comes back in the room and says nothing, toying with the computer. He puts my x-ray up on the screen for me to see. I look, expecting to see some horribly disfigured tooth, on the cusp of total destruction - but it looks...normal.

"That's my tooth?", I ask, perplexed. Is this some kind of test? Does he have the wrong x-ray? "Yup", he replies. "Have you been sick lately?".

"Only for the past two years", I reply curtly. I am the congestion queen.

"See that faint line in the x-ray? That's your maxillofacial sinus cavity. You can see the root of your tooth extends into it, right there, about an inch or so. You have a sinus infection. The pressure from it is causing your pain. Your tooth is fine. I did notice when I did a quick exam that you have something happening on the bottom tooth, so you should probably book another appointment for a cleaning and to take care of that".

So I paid $60 to find out I have a sinus infection.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I, unlike the rest of my colleagues, do not have health or dental insurance. I do not have the luxury of seeing specialists on a whim, just in case - I really thought I was in danger of losing my tooth, or worse, multiple teeth. Don't let my wit and penchant for multi-syllabic words fool you; I'm incredibly vain. I suppose it could have been worse; I could have needed a root canal or something equally expensive and scary.

So there you have it, the story of the toothache that wasn't. Let's hope Tuesday is a bit less eventful (and expensive).